Once upon a time there was a knitter. She lived in a pleasant land with a slight nip in the air. This got the knitter to thinking. She really needed a light jacket to keep out the chill but not be too warm. Her husband had just gotten a very nice leather jacket to fit that niche for himself. The knitter wanted something nice too. She searched high and low for a suitable jacket but none of the shops had what she wanted. The knitter was very sad, thinking that her old ratty fleece jacket that she didn’t like was going to have to last one more year.
Then a good fairy appeared and bonked the knitter on the head with a very sharp wand (the part of the fairy in tonight’s performance will be played by a cabinet door.) The fairy reminded the knitter that she had yarn, needles, and more than a little intelligence to make her own jacket.
The knitter thought that the fairy was very smart. The knitter carefully ignored the unworn vest in her closet. She didn’t like vests and never had. No amount of “science” could convince her that vests can keep your arms warm by keeping your core warm. Nope, she vehemently denied ever having thought that she would wear such a thing. She had no idea why she would have knit that in the first place.
Having conveniently forgotten about the vest, she had also forgotten about the things she learned while knitting it. Like the fact that she dislikes knitting things flat. That she hates seaming. And that the witchcraft of attaching sleeves was vaguely terrifying. She also worked very hard not to remember the seamless cardigan that she had started earlier in the year. She was pretty sure that the cardigan had been lost at sea, even though it had never been to sea. It was tragic, really, she’d never quite gotten over the loss.
Maybe it was the bonk on the head, but the knitter thought that she could probably finish the knitted jacket before the weather turned too cold to wear it. It wouldn’t take her that long to knit a worsted-weight jacket, especially if she shoved aside all the other things she was working on, including her spinning, and ignored the fact that Christmas (and a December 1st deadline for publications) was in two and a half months.
The knitter happily repressed any and all logical objections from her aforementioned intelligence and went and bought the pattern for the Central Park Hoodie. Then she bought some Wool of the Andes, because she thinks that it’s generally nicer against the skin than Cascade 220. She decided against superwash since a jacket needs less washing than a sweater or socks. She is even thinking about knitting this using lever knitting, hoping that this will make things faster, even though her lever knitting still isn’t faster than her regular knitting. This, of course, will require new needles.
And they all lived happily ever after.